I'm going to tell from my experience, furthermore I had both earphones broken the last month in Sweden. To start, I have 50% in my right ear and 45% in my left ear and if I don't wear it, acute sounds are imposible to hear for me, maybe if i have the emitting source in front of my ear, and yet, not all.
That broke me, was worse than not having them when I could do more or less normal life because i was getting used, without know what was really happening, to hear less and less. I tell that was worse because, in that moment, you know that you hear more and better of what you hear. Is too stressful that, whit every pass that you make, before was a
sound. That, to turn on the temporizator of, before, was a sound (tic, tac, tic, tac...). That being in your bedroom, you think if you are alone in the residence or someone out there because before, was a sound, a sound of someone going through the corridor. Want to make normal life and can't... Some ask, and... why you didn't sent for repair to Spain? Because the insurance's mail only cover 2k€ and one earphone only cost 3k€. So if I send each one in separated mail, if they lost it, who pay me the 2k€ remaining? And no, the state doesn't subsidize me anything, because either I have 33% disability, but as I said Malin, in Sweden they give you them and free...
But if i stop to think, not say that this is worse comparised with the another situation, just different. I mean the fact of having earphones and they spoil compared to that one day you realize (when i still had no earphones) that at the first you don't listen well to teacher, you can't watch the tv at the same volume of your friends and not know it's wrong, why they can and you not. So when people talk you, hard to understand. So if a sentence of 10 words there are 2 that you don't listen well and are relevant to understanding the meaning of the phrase, trying to understand how you can interpret it. That's basically, you're having a perception of reality different than anothers, neither more nor less, you're living a different reality. Because without realizing it, you begin to interpret it in your way, with many missunderstandings and uncomfortable situations that carries it. One for example, somebody tell you're dumb and inside you really know what happened, you don't hear well.
I could tell a few stories as I have thousand and one stories but I'm going to tell someone that make me fun and will continue with my point of view, when I realized that something was wrong. I forgot to explain that this loss of hearing, has been genetically inherited from my grandmother. At first I could lead a normal life, and without to be egocentric, I used to have the best grades in my class with another mates.
Although it hasn't a lot to do with deafness, I'll always remember in 5th of school (10 years) i always had well divisions which the teacher sent us for homework. And teacher checked if mine was fine, so he corrected the whole class from my division. In the end, the atmosphere that was felt was tense (a mate i even said that i done with the calculator! More would like you! Told him the teacher.) But one day I failed one division on purpose, i couldn't more. The next moment i have it saved as a movie. The teacher, after check said: - You wrong it. And the whole class started clapping. That situation left me stunned, but then again i was relieved. Hey i'm human!
The secret of making divisions was in my mother, at night, corrected me the divisions and didn't let me go to bed until i made them all well. The moral of this is, to paraphrase Albert Einstein, genius consists of 1% talent and 99% of perseverance and application and not the other way as I would think years later.
So i got to 16 years old getting gratuated without much effort but... worse from here on hearing loss, making my life a little harder. I didn't understand nothing, but when talking in classroom the teacher went to the opposite side which i sat, i felt uncomfortable or when someone spoke of the last row, staying me in the first rows, i knew that was saying something but no idea about what. And i had been accustomed to read the lips!
Then my parents bought to me earphones for 4500€ (like the left photo). Currently i have new
ones that they bought for 6000€, unlike the others, to me in july of last year (because the old are broke and guaranty have passed) like the right photo: The point is that i couldn't even see them, i
wouldn't accept i were deaf (that was how i saw it, although i am
part), and i had to put that shit, i was afraid of what people might or marginalize me, and then way i fell a few years in the clutches of the night. Until i finished my high school with 4 years, wether, in 4 years (usually are 2), and i went to London to study english 3 weeks with a grant from the MEC. That was for me a turning point, because i knew that i had to wear them, definitively couldn't hear well...
Since then everything has been so different and new at once, because I have to rethink myself, rediscover and re-organized in all situations and I'm still doing it!
First I started to wear them with my floor colleages, then working at the bar, really helped me to get in touch with more people than it used to be, then the university, until i take it all the moment and gradually i was beating my mental barrier
Although I think no one is ready to face such a thing, now i look back and i think that was my fault for not to having more communication with my parents or at least have the courage to ask that he needed a psychologist. These years have been quite hard, for me and all, i guess. For me it has cost me to regain my confidence, specially with the studies, what helped me was knowing that the school i got good notes, even few tens, so i knew that i could but you can't change overnight, maybe you need years... results need to see to believe, but you have to believe to see. And for other people: my family, friends... because i imagine that wouldn't have easy to deal with me.
On the other hand, it can be a strong point! Not for yourself but for others, because someone look bad or have depression and is healthy can see you and think, if he has hearing loss and with earphones goes ahead .why I, being healthy, not?
The only thing that really scares me is of breaking the earphones , i treat them as my eyes. Apart of they cost a lot (6k€ for both) without them i make do normal life and yeah if i hear it like a normal person, hear it is life
Also many thanks to David for being there last month of my stay in Halmstad that they had broken, but if in that moment you don't have someone you trust as one of your best friends, it is difficult to know who to tell. Also many thanks to those ERASMUS and swedish people that surprise you making by that time more bearable: Carolina, Elise, Aurelie, Timi, Amaia, Kroot, Calini, Claudio, Chris, Sanks, Marcus, Gregor, Romain, Henry, Mehrdad, Nima, Jimmy, Rafael, Fernando, Rahul, Mohan, Anilkullmar because they didn't care to repeat again you until i understand and always with an awesome smile.
Like Malin told to me: Always see the breakside of the life
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