WHAT FUCKING DIFFICULT TO BE NORMAL

I'm going to tell from my experience, furthermore I had both earphones broken the last month in Sweden. To start, I have 50% in my right ear and 45% in my left ear and if I don't wear it, acute sounds are imposible to hear for me, maybe if i have the emitting source in front of my ear, and yet, not all.

That broke me, was worse than not having them when I could do more or less normal life because i was getting used, without know what was really happening, to hear less and less. I tell that was worse because, in that moment, you know that you hear more and better of what you hear. Is too stressful that, whit every pass that you make, before was a

sound. That, to turn on the temporizator of, before, was a sound (tic, tac, tic, tac...). That being in your bedroom, you think if you are alone in the residence or someone out there because before, was a sound, a sound of someone going through the corridor. Want to make normal life and can't... Some ask, and... why you didn't sent for repair to Spain? Because the insurance's mail only cover 2k€ and one earphone only cost 3k€. So if I send each one in separated mail, if they lost it, who pay me the 2k€ remaining? And no, the state doesn't subsidize me anything, because either I have 33% disability, but as I said Malin, in Sweden they give you them and free...

But if i stop to think, not say that this is worse comparised with the another situation, just different. I mean the fact of having earphones and they spoil compared to that one day you realize (when i still had no earphones) that at the first you don't listen well to teacher, you can't watch the tv at the same volume of your friends and not know it's wrong, why they can and you not. So when people talk you, hard to understand. So if a sentence of 10 words there are 2 that you don't listen well and are relevant to understanding the meaning of the phrase, trying to understand how you can interpret it. That's basically, you're having a perception of reality different than anothers, neither more nor less, you're living a different reality. Because without realizing it, you begin to interpret it in your way, with many missunderstandings and uncomfortable situations that carries it. One for example, somebody tell you're dumb and inside you really know what happened, you don't hear well.

I could tell a few stories as I have thousand and one stories but I'm going to tell someone that make me fun and will continue with my point of view, when I realized that something was wrong. I forgot to explain that this loss of hearing, has been genetically inherited from my grandmother. At first I could lead a normal life, and without to be egocentric, I used to have the best grades in my class with another mates.

Although it hasn't a lot to do with deafness, I'll always remember in 5th of school (10 years) i always had well divisions which the teacher sent us for homework. And teacher checked if mine was fine, so he corrected the whole class from my division. In the end, the atmosphere that was felt was tense (a mate i even said that i done with the calculator! More would like you! Told him the teacher.) But one day I failed one division on purpose, i couldn't more. The next moment i have it saved as a movie. The teacher, after check said: - You wrong it. And the whole class started clapping. That situation left me stunned, but then again i was relieved. Hey i'm human!

The secret of making divisions was in my mother, at night, corrected me the divisions and didn't let me go to bed until i made them all well. The moral of this is, to paraphrase Albert Einstein, genius consists of 1% talent and 99% of perseverance and application and not the other way as I would think years later.

So i got to 16 years old getting gratuated without much effort but... worse from here on hearing loss, making my life a little harder. I didn't understand nothing, but when talking in classroom the teacher went to the opposite side which i sat, i felt uncomfortable or when someone spoke of the last row, staying me in the first rows, i knew that was saying something but no idea about what. And i had been accustomed to read the lips!

Then my parents bought to me earphones for 4500€ (like the left photo). Currently i have new

ones that they bought for 6000€, unlike the others, to me in july of last year (because the old are broke and guaranty have passed) like the right photo: The point is that i couldn't even see them, i

wouldn't accept i were deaf (that was how i saw it, although i am

part), and i had to put that shit, i was afraid of what people might or marginalize me, and then way i fell a few years in the clutches of the night. Until i finished my high school with 4 years, wether, in 4 years (usually are 2), and i went to London to study english 3 weeks with a grant from the MEC. That was for me a turning point, because i knew that i had to wear them, definitively couldn't hear well...

Since then everything has been so different and new at once, because I have to rethink myself, rediscover and re-organized in all situations and I'm still doing it!

First I started to wear them with my floor colleages, then working at the bar, really helped me to get in touch with more people than it used to be, then the university, until i take it all the moment and gradually i was beating my mental barrier

Although I think no one is ready to face such a thing, now i look back and i think that was my fault for not to having more communication with my parents or at least have the courage to ask that he needed a psychologist. These years have been quite hard, for me and all, i guess. For me it has cost me to regain my confidence, specially with the studies, what helped me was knowing that the school i got good notes, even few tens, so i knew that i could but you can't change overnight, maybe you need years... results need to see to believe, but you have to believe to see. And for other people: my family, friends... because i imagine that wouldn't have easy to deal with me.

On the other hand, it can be a strong point! Not for yourself but for others, because someone look bad or have depression and is healthy can see you and think, if he has hearing loss and with earphones goes ahead .why I, being healthy, not?

The only thing that really scares me is of breaking the earphones , i treat them as my eyes. Apart of they cost a lot (6k€ for both) without them i make do normal life and yeah if i hear it like a normal person, hear it is life

Also many thanks to David for being there last month of my stay in Halmstad that they had broken, but if in that moment you don't have someone you trust as one of your best friends, it is difficult to know who to tell. Also many thanks to those ERASMUS and swedish people that surprise you making by that time more bearable: Carolina, Elise, Aurelie, Timi, Amaia, Kroot, Calini, Claudio, Chris, Sanks, Marcus, Gregor, Romain, Henry, Mehrdad, Nima, Jimmy, Rafael, Fernando, Rahul, Mohan, Anilkullmar because they didn't care to repeat again you until i understand and always with an awesome smile.

Like Malin told to me: Always see the breakside of the life

The people in Sweden

I'm going to talk about I know from my experience of swedish's behaviour

To begin, what caracterizes the swedes is that they don't externalize the feelings and the lack of spontaneity. And it's a different culture from Spain who didn't get to appreciate until you actually live. There the men and women are educated to be equal, to have the same opportunities, but biologically we aren't. Even here in Spain, women have gained many rights and is on par with men, still remains to be done, besides the older generations remain anchored in the old model in which women didn't even work.

It is said that the revolution of women comes from the north of Europe. Although there are advantages also there are disadvantages, like the men have sexual identity crisis. They usually are very quick and abrupt with women, i mean, that don't create some complicity (make fun, some looks between them...) before take her.

I still remember when I told Carolina she was beatiful and pretty, she was puzzled. And she told me: the swedish guys don't say to a girl that is beatiful.

He also told me that what she liked about me was i was manly. The fact to inviting a women to take a coffee, open the door and leave to pass she first and more things.

I think people are so cold, i don't mean to be serious or bad people (the country is as safe, because the state can afford more aids by the high taxes. And not like in Spain most of them are gipsies) make mostly women who are more emotional, they love the culture of South America and so do a visit when have the chance.

Anecdotally i'll tell i went to the doctor ( who you must to pay unlike of Spain) to take away a filter of my earphone that had been inside the ear. He come walking until the waiting room where i was, looked at me and without say nothing, turned around inviting me to follow him. Upon entering waved his hand for me to sit down. He removed me the filter, i thanked him and shake his hand and finally managed to get a smile but a little loose.

Instead, paradoxically, despite having so much gender equality, and have a collective mentality, Sweden is a country that more people live alone. This is linked to the significant concept that they give to be independent (young, beatiful, and strong)

On the other hand, what is striking is that it is a leading country in services by intelligent use of technology very well integrated in society, and when you see it, you surprise.

If you want to know a little more I recommend that look at this, despite of to be a study comparing the swedish society with the Hong kongers, it explain very well.

http://www.cuhk.edu.hk/ant/hka/vol2/Chapter4_2008.pdf

Goodbye Sweden

At first, we were going to stay a full year in Halmstad, but for problems with the damn BOLOGNA proccess we had to go back.

I'll explain the problem. When we went to Sweden we went with all accepted rules of recognition (subjects) for our university, but early November says, the coordinator of subjects of 2 bimesters of 2011 (remember that there are subjects bimonthly) from Halsmtad who at looking our level (we have to do 2º) he doesn't permit us to do these subjects. So we inform to the coordinator of our university in Valencia, and suggests us something of the 3 course and maybe the project, and here comes the problem...

And the problem is, that with the BOLOGNA proccess they are changing the degrees, to make a standard degree in europe, and so are removing the old degrees year by year. But this year is finished 2nd in computer engineering (our year) and if we take courses from 3rd to complete the year (which is that sometimes people did) as normal would do next year what will be of 2nd and 3rd, but... if the next year there aren't 2nd class... that means you have to study by yourself the subjects! Although they put booster groups and there is 6 convocatories for the exam, there aren't class! I strong agree that you must be very willing to study on your own and go to tutorials to ask the questions... what do you think?

Then the coordinator of our university wanted to remove the fault, putting on us indirectly, as normal as it is fault of them to sent us there. I still remember when they show us the webpage before to go and told us:

- Look at it, look at it if you've courses!

Summarizing, this is like David says, the last bullet, the missed ERASMUS bullet

Anyway, i think to ask the next year if i have time to get my TOFL (a american tittle), i'll ask a PROMOE to go to Australia lol.

Recycling in Sweden

Well, here it seems that everyone recycle and pay for do it (not much)! But this time i'm referencing specifically to plastic bottles and cans.

Here, for recycle, which in Spain would be the green and yelow container you must be to the supermarket. If you go there with a bag full of cans and bottles (I used to collect when the party finished in the residence, if before don't steal it the indian guys, the bastards xD) you have to throw one by one in a vending machine type embedded in a wall (like the photo). If the can is good, you'll see on the screen that it add half SEK or 1 SEK depending of the type of the can or bottle and if the can is very squeezed then the machine, give it back to you and you must to throw it in another container. After you finish, hit the button and you get a ticket, that you can change for money in the supermarket, or buy something and so get a discount or for the supportive, you can give it to charity.

So, this post is dedicated to my friend David who told that no worth to recycle. Then i was pointing in my pc the quantity which I've come to save, I know that isn't much but with this amount you can buy 6 pizzas or 8 strong beer (%10 of alcohol).

Savings (Each number corresponds to each time that i went)

16+10+5+38+24+15+20+13= 141 SEK (15 € approx.)